Escaping my father, the paedophile: WA teen opens up on broken system that failed her and her family

A teenager was forced to spend years visiting her paedophile father when she was a young child, despite making multiple reports of being sexually abused by him. The Perth girl — who cannot be identified for legal reasons — said despite reporting the abuse to the police and the Department of Child Protection admitting she was at risk of sexual harm by her father, the Family Court continued to allow him to see her during her parents’ agonising legal battle for sole custody. The now 16-year-old has decided to open up about her tormenting childhood, the despair of losing her brother to suicide after he too spoke out about being sexually abused as a child and the failure of the systems that were supposed to protect them. Stephanie (not her real name) was six-years-old when her father climbed into her bed and molested her friend during their sleepover. She was lying arms-length away, fast asleep — unaware her childhood, innocence and trust would soon be shattered. In 2012, the man was convicted of indecently assaulting a minor. He spent just 12 months behind bars. Once he was released, nothing was stopping him from seeing his daughter. “The first time I saw him when he got out was at the police station,” she told The West Australian. “I remember I was sitting with Mum saying I don’t want to go, I don’t want to be near him ... a police officer walked over and I looked up crying and said I don’t want to do this ... and he looked down at me and said, ‘I can’t do anything’.” ‘SOMETHING WAS WRONG’ “I felt sick about it, I hated being near him,” Stephanie said. “I blamed myself for what happened (to my friend) because she came over, because she wanted to spend time with me. Then I kind of realised how off some things that used to happen to me were afterwards. “I finally told my psychologist that something was wrong.” Stephanie’s mother said she noticed her daughter started having nightmares again and often refused to shower. Eventually, Stephanie told her mother that what happened to her friend also happened to her. Stephanie recalled giving a statement to the Department of Child Protection and later to the police. She remembers sitting in a room alone with two ladies on the other side of the table with a video camera. “They kept asking me what date, what time, where, stuff like that,” she said. “But because I was little I couldn’t remember it all. I was five (when the abuse happened) — how am I going to remember every single detail?” Stephanie lost track of how many times she was interviewed or how many statements she gave. But, after a heavy sigh, she said it felt like no one was listening. “I went to all these different places to do the same report, say the same thing and hearing nothing for at least a year, then doing it again,” she said. “I had to sit there and relive it all over again.” A subsequent DCP report to the Family Court stated that allegations that Stephanie was at risk of sexual harm by her father were substantiated and recommanded that the contact between them be supervised. “She said he was still bathing her ... at the age of 10 ... and it would be for like a day visit,” the mother said. “And no one was supervising that.” A year later, a letter by the DCP recommended contact between the child and father, if any, be supervised by an external agency. It was noted by the court that the father would not pursue time with the child if it had to be supervised. Stephanie continued to see her father, while the police told her mother that there was not enough evidence to press charges. THE LAW Under the Family Law Act, children have “the right” to know and be cared for by both their parents, regardless of their relationship status. When making a parenting order, the court must have regard to the best interests of the child as the paramount consideration. To determine this, the court looks at two primary considerations — “the benefit to the child of having a meaningful relationship” with both of the child’s parents and the need to “protect the child from physical or psychological harm”. Family lawyer at Lavan, Tamara Arapovic, said a criminal history would not automatically revoke this “right”. “Whilst a person may have a criminal conviction, the exercise of determining unaccept-able risk requires the court to identify the risks and then to consider the steps or orders that can and should be made to minimise the specific risks,” she said. “In circumstances of family violence, it is important to remember the court is not required to make a finding about whether a person perpetrated family violence but rather it must determine whether the proposed orders create an unacceptable risks of harm to the child. “It is a prickly balancing act where the court has to consider the risks and balance that against the child’s right or longing to spend time and have a relationship with both parents.” ‘MY FATHER FIGURE’ The trial for Stephanie's custody begun in 2016. That same year, her elder half-brother took his own life. Their mother said several weeks earlier he attended a police station to give a statement about the abuse he suffered himself as a child at the hands of Stephanie’s father and his then-stepfather. She said Jack — not his real name — initially told her about the abuse three years earlier when he was 14. At the time, he did not want to make a report to the police but changed his mind after his girlfriend gave birth to their child. The day he died, Jack was discharged from the hospital after an earlier attempt to take his life. “They mis-diagnosed him for ADHD when he actually had bipolar and ADHD,” Stephanie said. “They threw pills at him and it made him worse ... I knew it was going to happen for weeks ... I just didn’t know why. “I had no idea (that he was also abused). He was a handful and he was trouble ... but he was pretty much the only person that was there for me no matter what. “He was pretty much my father figure the whole time I grew up because he was the only one protecting me from everything.” “When he passed away, my life fell apart even more.” Jack and Stephanie’s mother said she received a phone call several days later to let her know that police would not be pursuing court action on her son’s case as the main “witness” was no longer alive to testify. STILL SEEKING JUSTICE Stephanie’s mother was finally granted custody early last year but admits she does not remember the day. She said her lawyer told her it was one of of the longest trials of his career. “Family law is a complicated and specialised area of the law — it is multidimensional with all key stakeholders operating in shares of grey,” Ms Arapovic said. “The Family Court is chronically under resourced. “The proposed merger bill which would collapse the Family Court into the generalist Federal Circuit Court will have devastating impact on families who are already waiting for in excess of two years to have their matter determined on a final basis.” For Stephanie, there was no big sigh of relief when it was all over. There was no feeling of freedom — just a feeling of simultaneous emptiness and heaviness. She said her mother had fallen into substance abuse, while her father had moved on with a new, young family. Stephanie was left with trauma, trust issues and “disgust” in “the system”. The teenager moved out of her mother’s home less than a year later hoping to have some form of fresh start. “I know it sounds selfish but it’s not fair that (my friend) got her justice and when I finally said something nothing happened,” Stephanie said. “How was I supposed to know what (he did) was wrong or right? My mum wasn’t there, I couldn’t tell her. “I was in the hospital at least seven times — every four five months. I just didn’t want to deal with it anymore. “No matter how much medication or therapy ... it’s still there, it hasn’t disappeared.” The WA Police Force told The West Australian that “all child abuse allegation are treated seriously” and detectives would review Stephanie’s case to see if further evidence can be found to press charges. “The allegations made by the victim have been previously investigated by specialist detectives, however, to date there has been insufficient evidence to prefer charges,” a police spokeswoman said. “Detectives from the Child Abuse Squad will reach out to the victim to further assess all allegations and to review whether any further investigative actions can be undertaken.”